As I am
by Ticky.Tragity
Summary: Gaara dumps his girlfriend Kaira, and she searchs for a new life with her cousin Sakura, but finds out secrets that she was never supposed to know. GaaraxOCxSasuke NarutoxSakura and other pairings


I do not own naruto.

Nor do I even have a clue what is going on in the show. I'll try to keep the characters in character as much as possible but I don't think I can. rated M for later chapters

* * *

><p>Kaira is a girl with no imediate family. The only family she knows is her cousin Sakura. She's in a relationship with Gaara but finds out disturbing news and it comes to a stop quick. She has no idea about ninjas. none. It's a well kept secret.<p>

* * *

><p>Chapter 1. Love was never felt.<p>

* * *

><p>I stood on the balcony of our home staring at the sunset. Lately I've been feeling bits of loneliness here and there. Tonight was no different. I heard a door opened and I turned around. "Kaira?" His voice sounded a little off. He called me as if he was confused.<p>

"I'm out here." I answered. Did he have another fight with his siblings? Gaara walked out, he was wearing a dark red shirt and black pants. He's been home all this time and I hadn't notice? Normally when he came home he'd still be wearing his kazekage uniform. I wanted to walk over and hug him but his eyes weren't even on me, they were staring at the sunset. "Something wrong?"

It toke him a while before he answered me. He turned to face me, his face looked serious. There was something wrong and he's been thinking about it all day. "I don't love you." That caught me off guard. The look on his face did not soften up one bit. I'm not sure what hurt more his statement or the seriousness.

I didn't wait to see if he had anything else to say, I knew him well enough to know if I stayed around I would've gotten my feelings hurt even more. I walked inside and went straight into what was our bedroom. I sat on the bed and allowed myself to calm down. I hardly ever cried in front of others, I didn't want him to see how much this was bothering me.

"I am not good with breaking up. I just see you more as a friend." Gaara had followed me into the room but he kept his distance. His voice sounded a little more quiet, I didn't have to look at him to see that his face softened. I think he knows this is going to drive me crazy. "Together or not I don't want to see you sad. Take this as the time to do what you wanted to do. Go travel, go see your family. Just don't be sad."

"Why?" It toke me a minuet but I found the word that he couldn't avoid. As hurtful as the answer might be I want to know, and I knew it was going to be hurtful.

"You'll be angry." He warned me, he waited to see what my response would be, when I didn't give him one he continued. "There's someone else." He simply said. I choked. Someone? Else? Who? Who had he been spending his time with to possibly get that close to? Who got him to open up to them? Who?

I was furious, I demanded more of an explanation "You cheated?"

"Yes." I was in shock. I turned around to face him. He stood there, his face with no emotion. He was telling the truth. "I am sorry. It was wrong but I didn't care. I am sorry for lying these last two months. I took your time and made promises I had no intention on keeping."

"Two months?" I yelled out. Kazekage, Gaara, I don't care who he was, I let it out. He looked shocked, probably surprised I would show any reaction. "Gaara are you kidding me? We had sex this morning. Then would've been a great time to say hey by the way thanks for being my stay at home toy."

"I said I was sorry." His face showed some regret. I could see the emotion starting to show. "I didn't mean for it to go as far as it went…"

I cut him off. "Send a message to my cousin. I'll leave now."

"No. You'll leave in the morning. You're distraught and acting on impulse. I highly doubt you'll sleep tonight but at least calm down before making such a decision." Was he really going to try to fight we me about this? He went to take a step closer to me but I'm sure he rethought about that.

"I'm sorry but according to you we're not dating. You have no say so in my choices."

"Kaira I am sorry. I don't want you to hate me forever, but I can't change what I've done and how I feel. Can you please be rational about this? I care for you, I want the best for you, but I am not in love with you. I said what I had to say, I understand you might have hate towards me but can you remember to also keep you in mind?"

My stomach growled… I was supposed to meet up Temari for dinner. I sighed. "Alright, but can we announce this to the public later? I was supposed to see your siblings for dinner."

He rolled his eyes, of course I'd push the subject off. "Yeah I won't say anything. Here." He threw his wallet and I caught it.

"You're not coming?"

"No, I have… other plans for the evening. You can stay here, I'll rest in the guest bedroom tonight. Have Temari take you shopping. Weather is different in Konaha, you will not like it. It'll be cold for your taste, buy as much as you want, you'll need it." He turned to leave.

"Thanks my love." Shit… that came out wrong. He faced me again but this time I could see the faint smile I loved so much. "One last request."

"Anything. I owe you remember?" He still had the smile. I don't plan on sticking around for two months to become even, I hope he knows that.

"Please don't be here in the morning." I wanted to cry. More than anything I wanted to say the opposite. He thought about my request and I watched his smile fade, and his look go back to serious. That must've hurt him. Good.

"I don't want to." His voice was soft. Regret and misery showed in his eyes, but that was the end of our conversation. He couldn't take anymore and I couldn't either. Gaara left me alone in what was our room. I sighed as I walked into the bathroom. I looked horrible, my dark brown hair was in a messy pony tail, I wore a tank top with shorts, my eyes were a light brown color but they look tired. I shrugged it off and prepared myself to leave.

"Kaira, you look…" Temari hit her brother on the head to indicate that it was statement best kept to his self. "Where's Gaara?" Kankuro asked.

That stung a little bit. I'm sure I gave a split second of sadness to that question but I ignored it. "He's in a meeting"

"Yeah of course the little shit's in a 'meeting' aright." Temari didn't hit him fast enough for that one. They know? …. Of course they've known…. I felt stupid. I began to cry. "…Uhhh yeah I believe I have some unfinished paperwork to uhh."

"Get out of here!" Temari yelled and he ran off. She handed me a tissue, "Let's go to the mall before dinner. You'll find bigger and better things, I promise Kaira." She was always so kind. I couldn't imagine the suffering she had to go through not to tell me.

I finished packing by the morning. I walked out into the living room to find a note waiting for me. I thought about reading it but I ignored it and pretending I didn't see it. Today I didn't feel as sad as I was the night before. I was very well surprised Gaara did what I asked… I went to open the door only to find him standing there trying to come in. _Ooh He's used to me waking up late in the afternoon_. Here it is at 6 in the morning and normally he and his siblings get together for some workout.

There was a moment again when I saw the same sadness in his eyes but I'm sure imagined it. "Excuse me." He said when stepping aside to let me through. I walked past, I felt his hand touch my arm. "I don't want this." I heard him say under his breath. "I love you."

That might've stopped me yesterday, but not today. What I wouldn't give to spend my life with him. We spent 4 years together since we were 13. Maybe it was time for a change. The only family I had left was far away, and for once I was thankful for. "Goodbye." I walked away.

* * *

><p>Alright So that was the first chapter...<p>

I'm kinda playig with this story. I'm not sure if I'll keep it the same or go back and change it. but review please!


End file.
